albert online

I started this blog (well, this version at least) by writing about the worm on my oyster shell at Tetsuya’s. Well, a year and a few weeks later I was able to make the second visit I mentioned in the earlier entry and do a proper call on the restaurant: Is it worth the hype? Does it truly belong to be the #5 restaurant in the world?

No and no.

I’m not sure just what the hell got up the reviewers’ asses that they would make this Sydney’s #1 fine-dining scene or who in their right mind would make this restaurant the fifth best in the world.

I visited Tetsuya’s with my girlfriend last Friday night after making the booking some four months ago (”I’d like to book a table for two either on a Friday or Saturday night please.” “I have a table at the end of September, sir.” “…” — well, okay, I guess this is what you get when restaurants don’t implement a “No booking earlier than 1 month” rule) and after dressing-up and making ourselves look good we caught a taxi and off we went.

Upon arrival we experienced the vaunted service and attention that high-end restaurants were expected to provide. And in fact I do have to say that service was impeccable throughout our meal. Not once did we call on the waiter for anything–well, except for the bill–and everything simply ran smoothly.

But that alone did not make for a five star experience. While service was great, ambiance was extremely lacking. Enjoying the dinner with three friends as I did last year I didn’t mind. But for a night-out with the girlfriend I was hoping for something more subdued and, oh, I don’t know, romantic? I can’t help but feel like I was at a Chinese restaurant somewhere on Anzac Parade. Granted one with great service. Decor? Oh yes, minimalist.

Again, just like many of the hole-in-the-wall student joints on Anzac Pde.

But okay, none of this has to do with the food so far. How was the food?

1. Pea soup with bitter chocolate sorbet
The pea soup by itself was quite an interesting flavor, but the dark chocolate completely over-powered it. And this dark chocolate lover also want to say that the chocolate was just a tad too dark even for him. But I suppose that’s why it’s called “bitter chocolate” instead of “dark chocolate”. And when mixed together this combination actually tasted like vomit.

*. After the above we were then served a plate of oyster with … some tart sauce. I thought these would be served fresh but I should’ve listened closer to our waiter when he offered the oyster plate. Oh well. Quite good actually.

2. Smoked ocean trout and avruga caviar
Tasted like the smoked salmon in my fridge with some second-rate crap caviar on top of it. Sorry, was I supposed to be impressed just because this has caviar?

3. Leek and crab custard
Fancy name for what is essentially a chawan-mushi with crab and reduction or sauce of some sort. This was actually a dish that we both thought highly of. Subtle flavor upon first taste but a much stronger flavor then coats the inside of our mouths.

4. Scallop carpaccio with red wine vinaigrette
They had only a 100 scallops for the day and had to serve a 1000 people, thus the need to slice thinly what they had. Not impressed.

5. Ocean trout with a generous sprinkling of ajinomoto (signature dish)
Officially this is the Confit of Petuna Tasmanian Ocean Trout with Konbu, Daikon & Fennel with Seasonal Green Salad and I was very impressed with this dish when I first tasted it last year. My friend then commented that it was like “an explosion of flavor inside your mouth”. Eating it again, however, I couldn’t help but think that I was eating ocean trout with a generous sprinkling of ajinomoto.

6. Ravioli of Queensland spanner crab with tomato & basil vinaigrette
Tasted like a bad shiu-mai.

7. Baby abalone and ox-tail
The abalone were sliced just a bit too thick and a tad chewy. The ox-tail was decent but tasted a tad bland. How such a great chef can put together two great items and fuck it up beyond belief is, well, beyond belief.

8. Twice cooked de-boned spatchcock with olive & caper jus
I don’t like hainanese chicken rice because the chicken is served at room temperature (or somewhat cooler) and is steamed/boiled/whatever. We surprised the waiters when I barely touched this dish and my girlfriend ate only a portion of it. While I wasn’t too crazy about it because I don’t generally like boiled/steamed meat/fish, my girlfriend simply just didn’t care much for this dish. The waiter apologized when I told him the reason I barely touched it and said that they could’ve offered an alternative dish–fair enough, and I guess I should’ve asked him what a spatchcock was when he first described the night’s offering. Oh well. Either way, not impressed.

9. Grilled wagyu beef with lime & wasabi
Cold. Slimy. Blah

Girlfriend also says: don’t bother with the wagyu beef if you’re going to slice it up so thinly!

10. Comte with lentils
Mmmmm. Tastes like red-bean.

11. Beetroot & blood orange sorbet, strawberry shortcake
Not a fan of beetroot I really didn’t care much for the sorbet though I did finish it because I didn’t want to “send back” yet another dish. The strawberry shortcake however is an absolute delight and one of my favorites and I was glad to see it still on the menu. It is hardly a shortcake in the traditional sense but a strawberry puree of sorts combined with liquefied/dissolved cream/cake.

12. (Double-cream?) Vanila bean ice cream with white beans & dates
Well, at least he still knows how to serve a good vanilla bean ice cream. I could’ve sworn this was double-cream which made it really smooth but I could be mistaken.

13. Chocolate terrine with mascarpone & cognac anglaise
The chocolate terrine is orgasmic (”Please don’t pull a Meg Ryan on me” said the girlfriend) though the cognac anglaise wasn’t worth writing home about.

Petit Fours
Toooo sweet even with my cappuccino.

Would I come back here again? Doubtful. Would I take visitors to it? If they’re paying.

Tetsuya’s
529 Kent Street
Sydney NSW 2000
Tel: +61 2 9267 2900
Website: http://www.tetsuyas.com/